I’m now quite close to having the beta draft complete (more on that in a few days) and start looking for the first beta readers and so I’ve decided to make a post that’ll look on how I saw the potential finish line, so to say. It surely changed over the years, the question is: how much?

Concept stages (ca. 2002 – 2012)

Maybe I should’ve named the post “lack of goal and ambitions” because that’s how it was most of the time, greatly because of the several years of the pre-writing stage. In much of those early months and years, there was barely any goal and definitely no ambition when it came to this. I just daydreamed in my own world here and there and that was it.

The escape stage (ca. 2012 – 7/2015)

I am not sure if I mentioned this part in past: what got me to think about the story a bit more is that I wanted to push something else – someone else – from my mind, at least enough to stop thinking about her. The only idea I had at that time was to go back to my teenage daydreams and send my thoughts into a story that I would never think about actually completing.

At that point, it was nothing but an escape. Still no larger plans, still no goals of actually writing it, let alone sharing it even with a small group of people.

“Should I give it a try?” stage (7/2015 – 10/2015)

The demo stage. 21.7.2015 is the day I give writing a try by writing a demo chapter I played in my head several times over in the past months. It became quite enjoyable and I gave myself a question: should I give it a try? Should I try to complete the story? Can I even do it?

In the end, I changed the question: Is there any hurt in trying? The answer was simple: no.

Since I was given a hint of this by my fellow gamer (who I remind of it every year with thanks), at that point I thought my goal would be to finish it and share it with a small circle of my fellow gamers. I was still unsure of how it might go and skeptical of my writing skills, which were pretty much none at that point. I was learning by trial and error.

Early drafting stage (10/2015 – mid-2016)

The decision was done and the demo put aside, so I started writing the first draft of the to-be book one 16.10.2015. At that point, my approach was still the same: trying, learning on the go and seeing what happens. Still counting with it being mostly for me to see how the hints of a story I had could grow into something more – something I could share with a small circle of friends.

What started shifting my approach to it was buying a Kindle e-reader in late March 2016 (maybe it was early April). With that, I discovered the vast world of self-published books. Eventually, I saw that maybe, just maybe, I could try that as well?

Aspiring hobby-writer (mid-2016 – now)

I eventually decided there’s no hurt in going the self-published route. Unlike the traditional model, there would be no hassle with chasing agents (which I still have no clue how it works), trying to persuade them to give it a try (I am not really good in that anyway) and should I get past that, writing with deadlines.

There is a reason I still have writing as a hobby. No pressure, no deadlines, just having fun doing something I found joy in. That is what matters to me the most. I will finish it, taking all the time I need and give it my best. It might end up poorly anyway or it might go well, no one can guess yet. I doubt anything will be able to take away the feeling of finishing it – even if I did not sell a single copy.

As visible, my ambitions are minimal, if any. The finish line is my main goal and the prize as well. Even though I’ll probably keep the costs low, my mark of success will be breaking even with the costs (which reminds me that I still did not start looking for a cover designer). Anything above that will be a welcome bonus.

What, with such (lack of) ambitions, could be the ultimate reward for me? That’s quite simple: there would be no greater reward than someone enjoying the story.

As hinted at the start, I’ll be sharing a bit more about my progress in the near future (presumably next week). I’m fighting the stage fright and preparing to show a sample and some base information about the story – probably during this month. As for the book one release, I am now hoping for Summer 2019.

That’s it from me for today, feel free to comment or ask if you have a question.