In the past posts of this series, I shared my thoughts about male views on romance. Today, I’ll share what my goals were when writing romantic elements in my story and what points of the past posts these elements fulfill.

Loyalty

One of my key values, and the message I wanted to show in my story, is loyalty. This is displayed in many ways, though mostly through Kraasian and Ellisia Darkwood. At the time of the story, they’re both in their 21st century and have spent a thousand years together. While they don’t always agree with each other, they stand side-by-side, support each other’s strengths, and cover each other’s weaknesses. Such a life led to forging a strong bond between them – and a pair that works as a team.

Elven longevity was a way to show that long-term loyalty is an underestimated virtue and something many people wish for, no matter how hard to achieve it might seem in reality.

Optimistic realism

On the other hand, their son and his coming-of-age elements show many aspects of youthful optimism. At the same time, I tried to keep things realistic, even if that meant dealing with aspects that weren’t as happy. Such as not being able to be together when you want once adult life starts getting in the way and how that shapes preferences for your partner. Given that Tyr’eshal’s coming-of-age plot and the romance elements are a significant part of his character development, I won’t say more as it’d be troublesome to avoid spoilers.

Intimacy and consent

As I said in the previous posts, intimacy is an important part of romance. This might be strange coming from me, who has no personal experience with either but such changes nothing that it’s a major part of most people’s lives. And, as such, it makes little sense to avoid it when it makes sense.

Even though this made me stray into explicit scenes, delving into the thoughts of a character who is about to experience it for the first time, with all the dilemmas and questions it can raise in someone who considers their partner’s wellbeing and wishes. And how acting in the heat of the moment can change the perspective.

When it comes to intimacy, I decided to take it in a direction that aims to avoid shaming or pushing towards abstinence – or avoiding the topic altogether, which feels unrealistic. Instead, the way I approached it – including “the talk” – is about understanding and mutual trust between Tyr’eshal and his parents. This is a reflection of my own childhood – my parents knew that I was responsible and wouldn’t make rash decisions. And I wouldn’t want to lose that trust.

Parental guidance

I have touched this aspect above already – given that a major part of Tyr’eshal’s arc, especially in the first book, are the coming-of-age elements, there are situations where a character’s parents will have something to say about those things. In a healthy situation, this wouldn’t be discouraging or threatening, but supportive and urging respect and responsibility. Such as this shortened excerpt:

“I know firsthand that getting intimate with someone you love is one of the most pleasant moments our lives can offer.” Kraasian grinned. “It’s not something one could get easily tired of-” he nodded towards Ellisia “-even after centuries with one woman. Be responsible and remember to respect your partner … Our life would be boring without someone to share the joys of with.”

However, for some, their role in the world might prove a larger obstacle – while I’m not ready yet to share the details, there will be a character who will face a conflict between her role and her wishes, which will touch on the romantic and intimate aspects.

For another character, I’m planning to face disagreements from the view of an overprotective father who, after his daughter had an unpleasant situation (happening off-screen in her past), became too protective and the dangers such a rift can cause.

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As a whole, I’d say my point was to show the good parts of romance, but accept there are moments that aren’t just flower and sunshine. I also wanted to promote honest communication – not just between partners, but between parents and children when it comes to coming-of-age story arcs. Whether I might be successful in that, well, that’s not for me to judge.

That said, this is a wrap on this topic, though it could happen that I will return to it in some distant future, just as I did now after over seven years.