In my 2022 summary and 2023 plans, I’ve mentioned the change to living on my own. So, this will be a look into the life of a single 30-ish man living on his own. In… maybe a bit too honest way. You’ve been warned.
I’ve described some issues with getting furniture in place which, in fact, was the hard part. After that, it was mostly about getting a decent routine in place for everyday matters. Living in the heart of a town has its perks, given that most things I need are in walk distance. That made it significantly easier than it would be in a more remote location.
I guess that setting things up as a single 30-ish male is much easier – to this day, most decorations are still in the same boxes I put them in when I was leaving my parents. Apart from three pictures – those are hanging on the walls. Two in my bedroom, one in my living room. When it comes to decorations, I brought my four small pots with cactuses at the end of October. Which was pretty much the end of decorating for now.
I know some people would consider my place bland, but then… when I come from work, I honestly don’t care for such insignificant things. That said, the fact that there’s more than just decorations still in improvised boxes shows that not everything is dealt with yet. I’ll probably set some time aside in the spring to do some wrap-ups. Such as assembling the wall-mounted coat hanger. Or getting a bathroom mirror – most of the things I’ve seen so far are just too big for my needs; I need to find something subtler.
If there’s one thing I’ve been looking forward, it’s the calm life to allow me uninterrupted time for my hobbies. At least without interruptions from the outside, because nothing can prevent distractions that come from me. But the current state is much better – when I want to write, I just do it with no distractions. And, let’s be brutally honest here – given that I have a job that has me interacting with people a lot, knowing that I can enjoy solitude for the rest of the day is great.
Speaking about introverted things, this brings me to another change of plans that happened. Before my move, I was – in maybe a bit too optimistic way – hoping that starting to live on my own will lead to me starting (or at least trying) to date. However, given my time-intense hobbies, this isn’t the case yet. And, if I’m totally honest, I don’t know if it will be in the near future. I haven’t given that a single thought for the first couple of months, and while I eventually downloaded one app for that purpose, my attempts to use it so far are, well… insignificant. If there’s one thing many relatives ask me, it’s “aren’t you feeling lonely there” and my usual answer is “I don’t have time for that”.
I had exactly two visitors so far. My sister and my grandmother, each once. For reasons I can’t exactly understand, they wanted to see how I had set things up. Aside from that… no visitors, parties, alcohol, or other extroverted nonsense. Paradise!
No damn given
Here comes the brutally honest part. Living alone as a 30-ish man has one big advantage and disadvantage in one: eventually, you can stop giving a damn about small things. That doesn’t mean I’m a slob or something – it’s more that my father was quite a perfectionist. When I returned from a hike, I had to make sure I don’t track even a bit of dry or pine needles or whatever inside. I’m not a slob, but since my student years, I’m a fan of the 80:20 rule. Why fuss over tracking a tiny speck of dry soil when I can sweep it just fine? Now, I can leave the gear on the floor, take shower first, and then either put it right into the washing machine (if I have enough to fill it) or the hamper – and I prefer to check that after I’ve washed off the stains of my journey.
Detour: in software development, the “80:20 rule” says that 80% of program features take 20% of the work, it’s the smaller part (usually custom demands) that takes the majority of work time. In a similar way, studying to pass a test around the 70-80% mark doesn’t take that much time (and much less stress) if I understand the subject matter, but getting the perfect grade would need several times more effort. My approach to household chores is similar: perfection is unattainable, lasts for hours at most, and takes several times more effort. “Good enough” is, indeed, good enough.
I suggest skipping the next paragraph if you’re a sensitive type of person… or not adult, for your own sake.
The nastier side effects are in comfort. If I forgot my sleepwear in the bedroom when living with my parents, it meant a walk to the bedroom with the wet towel around my waist. Now that I live alone and there’s no one to see… well, I can just walk over naked. Walking around just in my underwear in the summer? Or sleeping (almost) naked without a blanket during heatwave nights? No one to see, no one to judge.
Well, I guess I’ll wrap it here. For those who’ve already made the move, was there something that surprised you when moving out? For those who are yet to do so, anything you’re really looking forward to? Don’t worry, I won’t be a myth-buster in my replies.
Nice work getting out on your own. I’m still working on it myself, but the inflated housing market—and student loans—make it a pain.
I don’t care for small things either, at least for furniture and the like. The less—and simpler—the better for my housing arrangements. Only take what I need.
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True, the living situation is definitely strained, and I have a bit of luck being in post-industrial area with a lot of 60s to 80s apartment complexes that were built at the peak. So I managed to find affordable living in the heart of a town.
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I wish you the very best with the move, buddy. Cheers.